


Drug of Choice

by Juniper11



Series: good girl gone 'mad' [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Love Polygon, Romance, Tasteless Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-10 10:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniper11/pseuds/Juniper11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She'd do anything for him because she loved him.  But who exactly was it again that she loved?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scarlett

**Author's Note:**

> I decided I'd try it since I've always loved Addiction so much. This part of the Series takes place after the Alternate Ending w/Itachi.

 

They say that those with an addiction will do whatever it takes to get their fix. Well, I happen to agree with them. He was my drug of choice and I’d do anything for him. Lie, steal, cheat, and kill as Scarlett once said. I had done all but one by the time this story starts but by the time it ends I would have done them all.

 

Because I loved him like I’ve loved no other man in my life.


	2. Finishing The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi is doing what?!

 

I was cold. Although, that much would be obvious if you saw my shivering body huddled beneath the blankets. There was nothing worse to waking up alone in a cold bed. Not that being cold bothered me to extreme degrees. It didn’t. What bothered me was the meaning behind it. 

 

It meant that he was gone--again. 

 

The only time he ever left was when he had business with the Akatsuki. The dreaded group bent on gathering the jinchuuriki in order to make some sort of attempt to take over the world--or at least that’s what I assumed they were up to. Whenever I asked Itachi he brushed me off. 

 

His brow would raise in this insufferable manner and he’d look down on me like I’m beneath his notice and then he’d just leave. I like to think that I’m a smart girl. I got the point. Our allegiances had nothing to do with us. We were at a point where he no longer asked me for information about Konoha and I tried my damndest to keep my mouth shut about the Akatsuki. Peace, I had learned, was a valuable commodity.

 

Oh, I suppose I should have told you who I am. 

 

I’m Sakura Haruno and if you didn’t know it by now then I’ll tell you plainly. My lover is Itachi Uchiha, murderer of the Uchiha Clan, betrayer of Konoha, member of Akatsuki. 

 

Years ago I discovered I had a Kekkai genkai that allowed me to absorb the chakra of others. However, with all Kekkai genkai there’s a catch. With the Byakugan that five degrees of sightlessness can get you killed. With the Sharingan, well, loss of vision if it’s in an advanced stage and perhaps a bit of madness. With me, any man I’m intimate with--if I don’t control it--I absorb their personality traits and vice versa. Itachi and I…became lovers in this time period of the awakening of my Kekkai genkai. I won’t bore you with the details but the fact is… I went a little crazy. Some would say it’s why I’m with Itachi now but that’s not the case. For some reason something inside me tells me that despite his homicidal ways Itachi is a good man. 

 

He looks after me. Takes care of me. And most importantly he hasn’t killed me yet. Not that I’d give him an easy go of it. I’m no push over myself. But, I have to be honest I’d probably never be able to strike the finishing blow and because of that it would result in my death because hesitation in conjunction with Itachi doesn’t exist--not if you want to live anyway. And truthfully, I didn’t think I wanted to live without him. I wouldn’t even know how to.

 

Still, despite all that, he’s left me alone. 

 

Dread filled me as I sat up on my bed and crossed my legs beneath me. I placed my elbow upon my thigh and cupped my face in my hand. My bottom lip was wedged between my teeth and I gnawed on it nervously. The time was coming when I’d have to pick sides. A war was coming to the ninja world and I was twiddling my thumbs playing house with the hottest ninja alive. 

 

Yeah, I admit to a degree I suck but don’t act like you wouldn’t do it too. He _is_ Itachi freakin’ Uchiha.

 

Our home felt so empty with him gone--and quiet. Not that he ever spoke much when he was there but there was something about his presence that just made it feel alive. That might sound surprising seeming as though Itachi Uchiha is the most unemotional man to grace the planet except when he wanted you to know without a doubt what he was feeling, but still it’s true.

 

We had picked a little place in Otogakure to live. Itachi said that it would be the best place for us since Orochimaru was out of the picture and no one had really came poking around the area as yet. They would, Itachi assured me, but it wasn’t an immediate threat. And so we lived there together after I had finished traveling the world to find myself. I was given leave for a five year sabbatical with the instruction that I was to write every now and then and when the five years were up I had to return home. It’s been four years. 

 

I liked Sound. For so long after Sasuke left I hated anything that had to do with Sound. It only reminded me that he had left me behind without thinking twice about it. However, there’s just something about it…

 

It’s not too hot like Wind Country nor was the temperature moderate like Fire. Sound was cooler. For most of the year it had spring-like temperatures. Until winter time--then it was cold as hell. Was that an oxymoron? If it was, so what? 

 

With a sigh I rose to my feet and made my way to the kitchen. Breakfast is the best way to start your day but I never got the chance. A knock on my door distracted me. “Coming.” I called out and went to look for a robe. I grabbed Itachi’s since it was the next best thing to having him wrapped around me and then went to the door. A silly little grin played on my lips as his scent wafted up to my nose. 

 

I was surprised to see Kisame standing there looking like the cat that ate the canary which was an amazing feat given his shark-like features. My smile died a swift yet painless death. We used to try and kill each other on a regular basis but for the most part Itachi put a stop to it. I don’t know what he said to Kisame but what he said to me was enough to scare me straight. He was my man but I knew when to cross him and when not to. That’s the good thing about getting to know someone. You know when to push and when to step back. You knew when you were close to getting a kunai thrown at your throat or being slammed up against the wall and screwed senseless. 

 

I liked when the last one happened--a lot. In fact, I made sure it happened on a regular basis. 

 

“What the hell do you want?” I sneered. Now, while I couldn’t try to kill him Itachi said nothing about me being nice. So I never took any opportunity I could get to be nasty to Kisame for granted. It’s the little things in life that bring true pleasure.

 

“Put some clothes on, bitch, you’re coming with me.”

 

I gave Kisame a condescending look that would make Itachi proud. “Excuse me?” I folded my arms across my chest and looked him up and down like the scum he was. The sneer stretched across my lips and disgust rolled off me in waves. “Like hell I’ll go anywhere with you.”

 

“You’ll go with me or they’ll send someone else and they sure as hell won’t be nice as me.”

 

Nice? Kisame and nice were two words that should never, ever be put in a sentence together unless ‘not’ was involved because otherwise they were the biggest damned lie to ever exist. However, I didn’t comment on his words and I personally think I should have got a pat on the back for my admirable self-restraint. Instead, I paused at his words letting the meaning sink in before I began to swear. Akatsuki wanted me and I was pretty sure the reasons behind it weren’t virtuous. 

 

“Does Itachi know you’re here?” I demanded as my mind worked a mile a minute to find some sort of solution to get out of the corner I was currently being backed into. A part of me hoped that Itachi would be there to back me up if I was foolish enough to allow the man who made no secret that he wanted me dead escort me to the Akatsuki. However, that would have been a good thing and the only good thing that ever happened to me was currently not at home. 

 

“And if he doesn’t?” 

 

“Then why doesn’t he know? And why can’t he escort me?”

 

“Because your lover boy is off to kill his brother and no one’s going to stand in his way.”


	3. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Screw Akatsuki! I've got better things to do.

 

It took me a while to process the words because surely they couldn’t be right. Itachi wouldn’t go and kill Sasuke. Not when he knew how much he meant to me. No, I wasn’t still in love with him. Although, I had been for some time and it caused the two of us no end of trouble but not anymore. I had thrown my lot in with Itachi and I didn’t regret it. Sasuke had nothing to do with us. Still, I cared about him the way I cared about Naruto. They were my teammates. I didn’t want them to die--especially by a hand that wasn’t my own.

 

Yes, I was betraying Konoha, my friends--especially Naruto--by shacking up with a criminal but sometimes love was just…fucked up like that. And more than anything I was selfish. I wanted that man. I wanted his time, his love, his…body.

 

I’d have his babies.

 

It was a matter of betraying myself or my village…and well…my village got along just fine without me. I would’ve had to live with myself for the rest of my life knowing I had thrown away my one big chance at a love that was worth holding on to, fighting for. I wasn’t going to do that. There was no torture great enough to make me turn my back on Itachi.

 

A brittle smile formed on my lips as I stared at Kisame after his pronouncement. “Why does Akatsuki want me?” 

 

“I don’t ask questions. I follow orders.”

 

“Yes, because that’s the logical thing to do.”

 

“Get your nose out of your ass Haruno. We’re ninja. We’re the weapon of those we chose to follow. Nothing more. And weapons don‘t ask questions.”

 

“That’s the difference between you and I, Kisame. I follow no one.” That wasn’t entirely true, but I wasn’t about to take back my words nor show any signs that I had lied. It would be a weakness that wouldn’t allow anyone to exploit. 

 

“Maybe not now, but you will. Go get ready before I drag you out as you are.”

 

“Don’t threaten me Kisame. We both know how that will play out.”

 

“Yeah, with you dead and me happy.” My lips twitched unwillingly. 

 

“Is that so?” Kisame said nothing in response only stared down at my small frame seemingly bored. “Look, you and I both know that I’m not coming with you. In fact, we both know where I’m actually going to go. So you can go back and tell your Leader that if he’s wondering where my loyalties lie in the upcoming war you can tell him they lie with myself and with my man. As long as the two of us come out of this alive then I don’t give a flying fuck what happens.” I made an attempt to slam the door in his face but he stuck his foot in the door taking the full force of the blow without flinching. In that sense Kisame was no fun. He rarely ever showed any sign of pain when I hurt him. 

 

“You’ll regret this, Haruno. I’m just a messenger.”

 

“I have a great many things in my life that I regret and I’ll deal with it just like I do with everything else--one at a time. So this regret can get to the fucking back of the line.” 

 

That time I firmly shut the door and marched to my bedroom. I glanced around the room my eyes wild and panicky. Then I realized what I was doing. My worst reactions came from moments like this, moments of panic and confusion. And really why was I panicking in the first place? Itachi had plans to kill Sasuke. Why should I interfere? What business was it of mine? If I took off my rose colored glasses I could say that somewhere inside me I knew that this time would come. Just because I had run off with Itachi didn’t mean that Sasuke didn’t want Itachi dead. In fact, he probably wanted him dead more so now than he did then--it was also probable that he wanted me dead as well. But I couldn’t allow him to die. I knew how powerful Itachi was. That would be the only outcome for Sasuke. Death. I shook my head. No, I wasn’t going to allow that to happen. Did this mean I was still in love with Sasuke? 

 

I thought on that for a moment or two. 

 

No. It didn’t mean that at all. Something…more was going on with Itachi. To just randomly decide to go and kill Sasuke when he hadn’t mentioned it at all in the years we had been together…it reeked of something hidden and that frightened me. Itachi and I didn’t hide stuff from each other. 

 

Or maybe it was a case of me not hiding anything from him and if that were the case that was all the more reason for me to find him sooner rather than later. 

 

 

:::

Itachi isn’t the type of man to leave a trail. When he leaves he disappears so well it makes you wonder if he ever existed in the first place. That being the case I decided instead of making a foolhardy attempt at trailing Itachi I’d find Sasuke because where there is one there is bound to be the other. 

 

Of course, that meant going home…to Konoha. Truthfully, I didn’t want to go back. Freedom tasted sweet and going back would throw restraints on me that I just didn’t want right now. The minute I came home people, my friends, would think that I was there to stay and it would be too difficult explaining the situation. 

 

_Staying? No, actually I’m not. I just came here to see if I could find some clues to help me locate my boyfriend, Itachi._

 

_Yes, Itachi the insane killer of the Uchiha clan._

 

_Why are you looking at me like that? You’d do it too if he were_ your _man._

 

Then the words traitor and interrogation would get thrown around and nobody wants that. Once those words gets used there’s no way things can end happily. And I was pretty sure pleading insanity wouldn’t help me much this time. 

 

Still, I had learned a lot while staying with Itachi -especially about stealth. It would be no problem slipping into the village. I had done it once already when I healed Sasuke from a Kekkai Genkai related injury. 

 

For those of you who don’t know this words are power with my Kekkai Genkai. When activated if I tell you to do something and you don’t do it and I’ve sampled your chakra then I have the ability to make your chakra attack you eating you from the outside in. Not a pretty thought, I know, but power is power in the ninja world. You don’t turn your back on it.

 

Anyway, so, sneaking into the village shouldn’t be a problem. Getting information, on the other hand, would be tricky. There was only one person I could go to and it really wasn’t a good idea to do so. The last time I saw him he was with his girlfriend, Kurenai Yuhi. He had looked happy with her--much happier than he had been when he was with me. I never claimed the title of girlfriend, but I was his lover and he was in love with me. In the end I couldn’t return his feelings. 

 

There was no one I trusted more in the Village Hidden in the Leaves than him. He knew Itachi and I were together. He knew I was betraying my village by being with him and yet he kept quiet about it. I’m not sure what that meant. It was a question I’d never ask because it would open a set of problems that shouldn’t be explored. 

 

As soon as I reached Konoha I searched out Kakashi Hatake. His apartment was in the same place that it had been before I left which saved me a lot of time and effort in searching for him. I crawled through his window deactivating the traps that I knew were there--because he told me just in case I wanted to stop by. I moved into his room silently my heart pounding so rapidly that the sound of it flooded my ears. 

 

Gingerly I sat at the bottom of his bed. Moonlight poured in through his window illuminating his topless body. He still wore his mask even while sleeping and that made me smile. It was comforting, for some reason, to know that some things never change. However, I was surprised that he didn’t immediately sense my presence when I came into the room. That was different and perhaps worrisome.

 

Then I saw that lone eye watching me carefully. He had awakened, however, he said nothing. He asked no questions about why I was there in the middle of the night skulking about like some sort of thief. On the other hand, he did extend his hand to me, welcoming me like he always did. I took the offered hand and allowed him to pull me up and into his arms. And then I did the one thing I wanted to do since Kisame delivered his shocking news.

 

I cried.


	4. Unrequited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She still had his heart in the palm of her hands.

My tears were spent and Kakashi rose from bed beckoning me to follow. I did so silently rubbing my eyes now and then realizing how emotionally drained I was. Relationships were tough. I mean how do you balance giving your psychotic lover space to kill whoever he wants and remain loyal to the people you cared about…you know, the ones he wanted to kill? I ran a hand over my face and decided to push thoughts of Itachi away for a moment and focus on Kakashi.

 

He was still that same beautiful man that was like a beacon to me years ago. For some reason the thought made me smile as I watched him move around his kitchen getting what he needed in order to make some tea. He hadn’t asked me a single question and I wondered why not. It could have been a case of him knowing that I would spill the beans eventually or maybe he already knew. He always did have this creepy insight thing going on when it came to me.

 

It didn’t take him long to finish his task and place a steaming mug before me. He, thereafter, sat across from me at the small table in his kitchen his eye studying me carefully. “Your hair…” I raised a hand touching it self-consciously. I had cut it all off--shorter than my pinky a while back but I had been letting it grow back. It wasn’t the length it used to be--probably a good three inches shorter than that. Kakashi’s hair was longer than mine, but I liked it anyway. I had it shaped up at a salon in Sound in order to keep me from looking like some sort of wild chicken. It worked well for me. “I cut it all off, but I’m letting it grow back.” We fell into silence after that. I sipped the tea while he watched me. It should have unnerved me but it didn’t. His eye on me didn’t feel intruding at all. It felt safe and normal.

 

“I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here.” I finally started, sitting my mug down and ignoring the clink that it made. I sat up straighter in my chair mentally preparing myself to get down to business.

 

“It did cross my mind.” His eye creased in a smile that I tried to return but couldn’t. I wasn’t exactly in the mood for a cheerful reunion. Not when death lay on the horizon.

 

“I’m looking for Sasuke.” I watched as his features slowly blanked and I knew then that he was preparing to hide something from me. I bit my lower lip to keep from exploding in frustration. I didn’t have time for this. His life was on the line and Kakashi wanted to play cloak and dagger. I reached up and let my fingers twine themselves in my hair and began to tug on it hard enough for it to be termed viciously. It only took me a moment to realize that I probably looked a bit deranged and dropped my hand back into my lap and looked away from Kakashi’s suddenly concerned gaze.

 

“Sasuke is not in the village.” Kakashi said slowly, cautiously.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“On a mission.”

 

After I healed Sasuke the Village tried him for the crimes he committed. I don’t really know the extent of his punishment, but I do know he stayed in the village. I wasn’t sure why seeming as though the whole purpose in his leaving was to become strong enough to kill his brother but when I asked the question via letter it was an answer no one would or could give me. One of the good things about getting older is learning when to let things go and that was something I had to let go.

 

“Do you know where to?”

 

“Sakura…” Yes, I was asking him for confidential information that was only given out on a need to know basis but _I needed_ to know.

 

“Kakashi…please.”

 

“I’m not telling you anything before you tell me what’s going on.”

 

One look in his eye told me that he was telling the truth. I could go no further with his help if I didn’t confess and I didn’t want to go as far breaking into the Hokage tower and snooping through files. I would do it if I had to, but this was the easiest way.

 

“I got news a few days ago that Itachi intends to find Sasuke and kill him.”

 

Kakashi’s eye widened considerably. “How many days is a few?”

 

“Four. Four days.”

 

“You traveled straight here? Did you rest at all?”

 

A wry smile touched my lips. I was certain that he knew by my red-rimmed eyes and body that trembled slightly with exhaustion that I hadn’t slept a wink in days. What I really needed was a few solider pills. I opened my mouth to ask for some but Kakashi cut off my words.

 

“Go sleep while you can. We leave at the first morning light.” Which wasn’t long nor a really good idea. Darkness was a cover that I needed to get in and out of the village undetected. It would be best to leave immediately. Yet…

 

Yet…

 

I could feel dawn approaching in my bones and just the thought of only a few hours sleep made me more tired than I already was, but I followed his instructions vaguely surprised that he didn’t join me but as my eyes began to drift close I thought less about that and more about the battle that would occur if I didn’t find some way to stop it.

 

Needless to say my rest was fitful.

 

 

:::

 

He watched her while she slept. Her face had matured so much in the years since he had last seen her. She looked more mature, more composed, more lovely. Kakashi lowered himself to the bed sitting by her side. He picked up a lock of her hair and marveled at the texture and at how it was softer than he remembered.

 

When she had appeared in his bedroom for a moment or two he believed her a dream. He had many dreams of her over the years. But his dreams had nothing on reality. Her face looked at him with something akin to sadness and it made him reach for her. The second her hand touched his he knew she was real, that he was awake, and that it was truly happening.

 

She was home.

 

So he pulled her up and into his arms happy for the first time in a long time. And then he felt her tears and knew she hadn’t come home for him. These were no tears of joy. They were gut-wrenching sobs from somewhere deep in her soul.

 

It didn’t take him long to figure it out. They did throw out the term genius in connection with him rather often. He was damned. Damned to love this young girl and never receive an ounce of her affection in return. A bitter smile crossed his lips. This was what life was for him.

 

Her eyes cracked open and he saw that they were glazed with sleep. “Time to go?” She murmured.

 

“No.” Kakashi replied. “Go back to sleep.”

 

“Want me to scoot over?” The offer was more tempting that she realized. Didn’t she know how much he wanted to lay beside her, rest his head on her bosom and just inhale her scent? Apparently not since her eyes looked a him expectantly awaiting an answer.

 

“Sleep, Sakura.” Her eyes drifted closed once more and Kakashi stood up and began getting his pack together. Naruto and Sasuke had been sent on a mission to Water Country the details of which were unknown to him. He had been gone on his own mission and had just returned home. He had been ordered to leave to join them in the morning and they’d brief him when he caught up to them.

 

He didn’t know whether or not it was fate that led her to him hours before he was scheduled to leave. He was only glad that she had arrived because he knew without a doubt that if he hadn’t been there she would have found some other way to find Sasuke. A way that would have put her at great risk. He knew instinctively that all of her foolish ways hadn’t immediately disappeared with age. He was certain she held on to quite a few. But he could live with that. He could let that go. What he couldn’t let go was the fact that in the end she had chosen Itachi. He could have lived with her picking Sasuke. He had always known that she loved him, desired him above all others, but knowing she had picked Itachi ate at him in ways he didn’t understand. It made no sense that she’d pick a madman over--

 

Kakashi shook his head stopping those thoughts. They were the reason he was still alone now. He had tried to move on with someone else but that had taught him a valuable lesson.

 

No one can be replaced. No one would ever be Sakura.

 

:::

 

 

I felt a hell of a lot better when I woke up than when I laid down which was surprising given my tumultuous thoughts before I lay my head down. Running for four days straight is not only stupid it’s tiring. I had a feeling I would be doing something similar soon. That was enough to make an already dreary day even more miserable.

 

A grimace formed on my face as I woke up alone once again. A pang shot through my heart at the reason why that was but I could sense that Kakashi was somewhere nearby and thankfully it distracted me. The sun was just starting to rise as I moved to the kitchen. As soon as I entered Kakashi tossed me a bagel. I caught it and barely held on to it since it was still hot, and then glared at Kakashi. He gave me his usual smile and said, “Eat up. We’ve got to get moving.” I nodded and followed his instructions all the while wondering why Itachi would go to kill Sasuke.

 

Yes, there had been bad blood between the two of the because of the whole ‘clan incident’ but I thought Itachi, at least, had put it behind him. Had something occurred that I didn’t know about? Had Itachi and Sasuke crossed paths and renewed the mutual animosity between them?

 

“Sakura!” I blinked looking at Kakashi. From the look on his face I could tell he had been calling me for some time. I looked in my hand and saw that I had finished my bagel. Chagrined, I rose to my feet.

 

“Let’s go.” I said.

 

“Sakura, you’re distracted. Maybe it would be better if you stayed here.”

 

“If I stay here who’s going to stop Itachi?”

 

“If you go will he even listen to you?” Kakashi countered and I flinched. It was true that I had no control and very little influence over Itachi’s actions. It wasn’t something that bothered me most times. The only thing Itachi and I ever argued about was about him leaving Akatsuki. The only time I ever wished for more influence over him was when that topic came up…okay when I brought it up. So whether or not I could influence Itachi to _not_ kill Sasuke I didn’t know. But…

 

“We won’t know until we try. And if you say that I should stay behind again then I‘ll tell you now I don‘t want your help. I‘ll be fine on my own.”

 

“…Let’s go then.”

 

 

 

 


	5. Illogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sakura flushes logic down the toilet.

Kakashi didn’t tell me where we were headed. I didn’t know whether he was afraid I’d leave him behind and do something foolish or if it just hadn’t crossed his mind that maybe I should know where we were going.

I should’ve been disturbed at the lack of trust but given my past if he had trusted me then I would have thought less of him for it. So I asked no questions and followed in the wake of the legendary Copy Ninja studying him in order to take my mind off of, well, everything.

He didn’t look a day older than when I left. He was still strong, virile, and the best friend a girl could ever have. Although, he did look like he had lost a little weight and that couldn’t be a good thing since he was already lanky to begin with. I pursed my lips and made a mental note to talk to him about that before we parted ways.

When he stopped I was confused for a moment or two. I didn’t see Naruto or Sasuke and I didn’t sense their presence nearby either. I opened my mouth to question him but he beat me to the punch. He seemed to be making a habit of that lately.

“We’ll rest here for a while.”

Now, while the idea of rest was appealing--my legs were already cheering. Only people that had time could rest. I didn’t have time.

There's no rest for the wicked and I was most assuredly wicked.

Itachi had several days ahead of me to find Sasuke--if he hadn’t already--and they could be in battle while we were ’resting’.

“I don’t need to rest.”

Kakashi gave me a look that I hadn’t seen since before we became lovers. It spoke of his power and authority and made a tremble make it’s way down my spine. Flashes of his body above mine flickered through my head and I turned away clamping down hard on Kekkai Genkai.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I hadn’t any problems controlling my Kekkai Genkai in years. Why would it start giving me issues now? I said nothing further about not needing to rest because while I didn’t feel the need to stop. I did feel the need to get myself together. It wouldn’t do for me to rape my former sensei in the woods--especially since I was deeply in love with another man who would probably not forgive me, if he didn’t just kill me outright--for the slight. I didn’t look good in Death. I’d rather let someone else wear it.

I ran a hand over my face and decided it just wasn’t worth the argument. I settled myself on the ground leaning my back against a tree and focused on blanking my mind. It seemed like a good idea to think of nothing for a while. I succeeded--to a degree. I managed to fall asleep.

* * *

 

I don’t know what woke me up. A sound, a threat, it didn’t matter since I was wide awake and clenching a kunai because stabbing someone for waking me up seemed like the best idea.

It turns out I was right to be paranoid. Seeming as though Kakashi and Naruto were having a hell of a time restraining Sasuke from killing me in my sleep. It seemed homicidal tendencies ran in the family. I sat up slowly not at all letting go of my kunai--not that I wanted to kill him…just cut him up a bit if necessary.

“Hello to you too, Sasuke.” I said by way of greeting. My greeting seemed to infuse him with super human strength enabling him to break away from his captors. I had enough time to get to my feet before he rushed me tackling me to the ground.

“Traitorous bitch!”

I would have said something about the pot and the kettle if he hadn’t been trying to squeeze the life out of my throat. I spent a few seconds wondering why I wanted to save him in the first place if this was the type of greeting I was going to receive before common sense knocked it’s way back into my brain reminding me that I had a weapon and should probably use it if I wanted to live. Spots began to dance before my eyes as I raised my kunai and stabbed him in the back.

Personally, I thought it was a bit of poetic justice since he was accusing me of treacherous activities.

He let out a scream that was both full of pain and mounting aggression. Once upon a time I would have found the sound exciting--

Okay who am I kidding? I still found it exciting but I like to think that I’ve matured enough not to act on the attraction.

I leaned forward and bit Sasuke on the neck just as Naruto and Kakashi were pulling him off me. My kunai was still in his back and it didn’t slow him down in the least. He really had become quite powerful.

“Sasuke calm down. Sakura has come with news of your brother.” Kakashi’s tone was calm and reasonable sort of like talking to someone who was about to jump off a building…or a crazy person. You pick.

“I already know she’s his whore.”Sasuke spat.

“You’re just mad that I’m not yours.” I retorted while tossing hair that wasn't there.  The whole taunt probably would have had more bite if my voice hadn’t come out a bit hoarse after being choked out but you deal with the hand you’re dealt and move on.

“Not helping, Sakura.” Kakashi said giving me a hard glare that I returned by shrugging my shoulders and batting my eyelashes in a way that was supposed to facilitate my innocence but probably looked more flirty and seductive judging from the look on Kakashi’s face. I’d have to work on that.

I said nothing while Kakashi and Naruto worked to get Sasuke calmed. Instead, I observed the three of them marveling at how well they worked without me. It was like I had never been a part of the team at all. Then again I don’t think I really was…but that was of no consequence.

Once the opportunity arose Kakashi pulled me to the side. Sasuke was leaning against a tree glaring at me while Naruto dozed lightly--lightly because he didn’t know whether or not Sasuke was going to go nutso again. “Did you have to stab him, Sakura?”

“Did he have to choke me Kakashi?” I retorted raising a hand to heal my throat which was aching considerably. “You can’t tell me you didn’t expect this sort of reception.”

“Honestly, Kakashi I didn’t. I came here to stop a killing not to be killed. Little things like Sasuke and his neurosis escaped me.”

Kakashi chuckled a bit despite himself and I smiled in response. “Look I know you’re determined to stay but Sasuke’s not going to welcome you with open arms. Not after you ran off with his brother and nearly killed him.”

I could understand the first but the second was an accident. “He really doesn’t believe in letting bygones be bygones.”

“Some things are kind of hard to get past.” Kakashi said wryly. I waved my hand dismissively.

“Well, he’s going to have to deal with it. I’m not letting the two of them fight.”

“Sakura this fight is inevitable.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

“Just because you refuse to believe doesn’t make it any less of a reality.” I grit my teeth and moved to walk away. I needed some quiet time because Kakashi’s logic was starting to get on my nerves. “Aren’t you at least going to heal him first?”

I tossed the words over my shoulder, “If he lets me heal him I’ll eat my forehead protector.”


	6. Fascination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They couldn't help being captivated.

Forehead protectors don’t taste good without salt, so I decided to forgo it since I had left my salt at home.

Sasuke allowed me to heal him, but I suspect that was only because he wanted to be in top form when Itachi came to kill him.

I wanted to talk to Sasuke and tell him why he shouldn’t fight Itachi, but the only words that would come out of my mouth would be words that he’d take offense to. Like, _“You’re too weak.”_

_“It’s stupid to fight someone stronger than you.”_

“ _I’ll tie you up and lock you away somewhere until you gain some common sense and knowing you that’ll mean the rest of your life.”_

I didn’t think any of those would go over well. Kakashi confirmed this when I spoke to him about it. So honestly, I had nothing. I could only go along with them on their mission and hope that sheer brilliance struck me along the way.

While I was waiting for that I recalled that the Akatsuki was after me, but of course it took a major explosion throwing me half away across the forest for me to bring this to mind.

_Deidara_

It figured they’d send the one member of the Akatsuki that had a grudge on Itachi. Normally when we crossed paths he…well he didn’t hate me, he ate all my food and had on more than one occasion made himself at home in my home.

I foolishly considered him benign and now I’d learned that foolishness comes with a price. The burns that covered my legs were the price for that particular time. I grit my teeth and rose to my feet, wondering whether or not I should heal my legs or wait until later.

When my legs collapsed from beneath me, I decided I’d heal them immediately.

I kept my eye on the battle to see Sasuke and Naruto engaged in battle with Deidara. I glanced around for Kakashi and nearly screamed startled when I heard his voice say, “Are you okay?” Thankfully I composed myself.

“I’m fine. Shouldn’t you be helping them?” Kakashi glanced at the duo before looking back at me.

“They look like they’re doing fine to me.” I looked as well and noted that, yeah, they were doing okay. When Naruto and Sasuke weren’t trying to kill each other their teamwork was pretty awesome.

“Any idea what he wants?’ I avoided eye contact and asked, “What who wants?”

Kakashi gave me a sardonic look that I laughed at before replying, “Maybe we should talk about this when we aren’t in danger of dying.” Kakashi shook his head.

“There’s no time like the present.” I rolled my eyes before glancing at my minor patch up job of my leg hoping I could stand on it. There was only one way to find out. I hauled myself to my feet and still felt a deep searing pain within my leg but I could stand on it which came right on time since Deidara decided to drop a bomb on us--literally.

Kakashi noticed this before I did and moved us out of the way with ease and I tossed him a grateful smile before finally, albeit a bit late, going on offense.

It isn’t exactly easy to fight a man who floated about in the air and dropped weapons of mass destruction on top of you for kicks. The thing is when fighting someone who’s airborne you have two choices. Either you become airborne or you forcibly bring them down to earth.

I opted for the second one since I didn‘t believe I could fly.

I wrapped my arms around the nearest tree trunk pulling the roots from beneath it. In those moments I was glad that Itachi made me practice my aim when throwing large objects. In fact, he went over with me different scenarios on what to do if my target made a sudden move after I launched my overly large projectile. So I wasn’t really worried that I’d miss.

* * *

 

He wasn’t certain when the last time was that he saw her in battle. Actually, he wasn’t sure that he had ever really seen her take such an active part in any battle. Seeing her rip a tree from its roots and throw it as if it were as light as a senbon caused something to move in Sasuke. Something that was different from the usual loathing that he felt whenever he thought of her, of her with his brother, something he thought he had killed and buried in an unmarked grave.

And yet….

“Shannarro!”

The tree sailed through the air and the Akatsuki bastard made a valiant effort to dodge, but it seemed that Sakura’s tree had a mind of its own and followed him. As the tree made impact with the bird he was flying it exploded throwing them all backwards.

Sasuke cursed Sakura and her Naruto-like actions as he picked himself up. His bloody red eyes scanned the area looking for signs of the enemy nearby. He saw nothing, so instead he looked for his teammates. Unfortunately, he found Sakura first. She had a smile on her face that was more than a little disturbing. She struggled to her feet before turning to look at him and happily asking, "did I get him?"

He didn't know the answer to her question so he said nothing. She didn't seem to take offense and he found for some reason that it irritated him that she didn't. He let his eyes scan the area for Naruto and Kakashi, but he couldn't find them. Sasuke's eye twitched. He didn't relish the thought of being left alone with his brother's whore.

Although he could just leave her behind...

* * *

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I spent so much time with his brother, but Sasuke was now an open book to me. A myriad of emotions flickered across his face. Emotions that a normal person never would've even taken note of. I could see his anger, his disgust, his loathing--although the loathing was the interesting part. I didn't think the loathing was directed towards me.

Before my brain had the opportunity to pick that apart he turned his back on me and began to walk away. I could tell by the set of his shoulders and that he had no intention of waiting for me. A part of me wanted to just leave him to it, however, if I left them alone, then Itachi could find him and that would defeat the whole purpose of my trip and so I followed not saying anything because there was a large chance that he would explode and quite possibly try to kill him me again. Kakashi and Naruto weren't around referee so I decided to play it safe. Admittedly, I'd probably give Sasuke good fight if I wanted to, but I really didn't want to.

I could tell he was irritated that I was following him, but that was fine with me. Sasuke was always irritated about something. I was used to it, and he probably was too.

It was odd, but I spotted Kakashi first. I would've thought that Sasuke, with his Sharingan would have detected his presence first, but that was not the case. It was like I could taste Kakashi's essence before I saw him. As I am sure you can imagine it tasted good, sweet even, much like chocolate. I turned my head to the west waiting for him to appear.

Before I could stop myself, I said aloud, "Kakashi is coming." Sasuke turned his head and looked at me but I didn't notice.

It was like watching the night turn to dawn and I had a feeling my fascination was painted all over my face as he drew nearer. Anyone could have killed me in those moments because I didn't see anything else, I didn't hear anything. There was only Kakashi.

He smiled when he saw me and I smiled back a little crazily. I hadn't quite thought my plan through and I would have been devastated if he had been hurt because of my actions...again. Still, he was looking good and my feet found themselves moving towards him before I could really think about it.

“Are you alright?”

He didn't reply, but rather looked over my shoulder. Curious, I turned my head to look at what had caught his attention only to see Sasuke staring at us. He looked downright enraged and honestly, I wasn't really up to figuring out why so instead I laid a hand on Kakashi's arm and said, “Let's find Naruto.”

Kakashi nodded and turned to take the lead while I followed. I decided I wouldn't give Sasuke the privilege of knowing that I was curious as to whether or not he was following us.

I didn't look behind me.


	7. Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It didn't matter to her whether or not it was love or insanity. Either way, it was hers...

Naruto was alive when we found him—or rather one of his clones. Apparently he had dispatched a bunch of them in order to find us. I found it amusing that with all his clones he was the last person to be found. I didn't dare mention that to him though, but one glance at Kakashi's face and I knew he was going to ask me later.

“We should clear the area. I don't think he died that easily.” Kakashi said. I was slightly offended that he didn't believe I had what it took to off the man, but it wasn't a big enough deal to make a fuss about. Besides, I was exhausted.

The stress of the whole situation was weighing heavily upon me, and I still really couldn't relax. My mind kept trying to figure out why Itachi was doing this. Did he view Sasuke as some sort of threat to us? Didn't Itachi know how much I loved him? What good would come from killing Sasuke?

But maybe that was the problem. Somewhere along the line I had come to believe that I was wrong about Itachi. That he wasn't a homicidal maniac. That he was a good man that was simply misunderstood. Maybe I had attributed all these characteristics to him that didn't really exist. Maybe he didn't care about what was good or what was right. Maybe he just cared about what he wanted.

I wasn't sure if the whole situation bothered me as much as it did because it was Sasuke's life he was coming to take or just my special brand of morality talking. But...

“Sakura!” My head snapped in the direction of the firm voice only to find Kakashi watching me with a look on his face that was inscrutable. My eyes focused on him and the present situation. I forcibly put my musings on my homicidal maniac to the side.

I looked around, noting that I had no idea where we were or how far we had traveled. Something...something was really wrong with me, but I'd think about that later too.

“Yes?”

“Get some sleep.” I shook my head.

“I should keep watch. I'll sense Itachi coming before--”

“Sakura, you're barely standing right now. Go to sleep.”

I blinked slowly and then followed Kakashi's instructions. I wasn't unreasonable all the time. Or maybe I just knew that this time my body was telling me I didn't have any choice but to listen.

I didn't remember falling asleep.

* * *

 

“What's going on between the two of you?” Sasuke snapped as soon as Sakura was out. Naruto looked back and forth between Kakashi and Sasuke confused. Kakashi wished he could feign innocence. He was even willing to try it, but in the long run it wouldn't be worth the effort. Kakashi raised his head up to the sky and looked at the stars.

“Wha--” Kakashi briefly glanced at Naruto and wondered if he should tell him to stay quiet but Sasuke beat him to the punch.

“Stay out of this Naruto. This is between me and Kakashi.”

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously. Kakashi knew a fight was about to break out and it was neither the time nor the place so he intervened.

“I don't know what you're talking about Sasuke.” Kakashi's voice was weary. He ran a hand over his face as if he could block out the whole conversation, but he knew he couldn't.

“Why the hell was she all over you like that?” It was an exaggeration and Sasuke knew it. Still, he was well aware that Sakura had been a little flirty with him, but that had always been the case between them. Still, he knew, oh how he knew, that she loved Itachi and she would never choose Itachi over him. But she might choose him over Sasuke and an evil little voice in his head couldn't help but rub it in a little.

“You mean, and not all over you instead?” Sasuke took a step forward, but Naruto placed himself between the two of them. It was something that spoke of maturity and Kakashi he had to admit he was a little proud of Naruto for the action. Although, he was a little ashamed for exacerbating the situation in the first place.

“Go to sleep Sasuke.”

“Don't tell me what to do Naruto.” Sasuke snarled.

“Don't make assumptions about Sakura without any basis.”

“The hell? No basis? I saw them together Naruto, acting damned lovey dovey. Why the fuck shouldn't I have believed what I saw?”

“Because this is Sakura and she had to have reasons.”

“I'll tell you the reason. It's because she's fucked up in the head just like my damned brother!”

“Then why is she here now?” Naruto exclaimed. “If Itachi is really coming to get you and she's so damned fucked up, then why would she come all the way here to save you?” The words were full of such condemnation that Kakashi found himself shocked that they had come from Naruto. It didn't feel right, so Kakashi moved forward and laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder. Naruto blinked and looked up at Kakashi startled.

“Why don't you head to bed too? I'll take first watch.” Naruto said nothing, but simply moved to pull out his sleeping bag and went to sleep as well. He didn't look to see what Sasuke was doing. He knew he needed a little time to cool off, especially since Naruto's words had appeared to hit him hard. Instead, he looked at Sakura's slumbering form, then quickly looked away because all looking at her would do was cause him more pain.

So he pulled out his favorite novel and began to read. 

* * *

A hand shook me awake and I opened bleary eyes to look into Naruto's clear blue ones. “It's your turn to take watch.” I nodded my head and sat up slowly blinking away vestiges of sleep from my eyes. Once I was on my feet I expected Naruto to collapse fairly quickly, but instead he followed me for a while silently.

“Spit it out Naruto. We stopped mincing words with each other a long time ago.”

He smiled a little before saying, “Why were you with Itachi? I thought you had your Kekkai Genkai under control.”

I stared at him and considered lying and saying that I was with him to find out information about what Akatsuki had planned for him, but he'd see through it.

“I'm in love with him Naruto.” His eyes bulged at my declaration.

“How can you--” He was about to explode so my hand quickly darted out and covered his mouth. He calmed and looked in the direction of Kakashi and Sasuke to see if they were still asleep. Thankfully, they were. I slowly removed my hand and shrugged at Naruto.

“It just happened.”

“Sakura, he killed Sasuke's family.”

“I know that.”

Naruto just stared at her incredulously. “Is Sasuke right and you're really insane?”

“I don't know how to answer that Naruto.” I asked myself that question on a regular basis and couldn't come up with an answer. Do insane people ever know that they're insane? I didn't think I was but that didn't mean it wasn't true.

“You're betraying Konoha.”

“I'm not. I would never tell him secrets about Konoha.”

“Sakura, he's a criminal. You don't know what he's done to your mind with his Sharingan. He has to be--”

“This is why I didn't tell you. You don't know Itachi like I do. He would never hurt me intentionally.” I wasn't too sure about that, but I said it and I would believe it. I would believe in him when no one else did. I would believe in him right down to the second he killed me and perhaps even longer than that.

“Maybe not, Sakura. But what about Sasuke? What about everyone else that he has hurt?”

He said nothing more, but instead turned and walked away, leaving me to my thoughts.


End file.
